First Breath

I'd like to disappear.

To temporarily shed my identity, to let pieces of myself fall at my feet like autumn leaves and the details to vanish like ripples in a pond.

I want to incinerate my past, to toss aside what makes me myself, to put myself to sleep infinitely and wake up as someone new tomorrow.

I'm tired of the fakeness and confusion

So it's time to be reborn.

It's time to step into the fire, to jump head first into that icy cold water.

It's time to be truly everything and nothing. To abandon all my mistakes and all my regret.

I'm throwing out most of my pain and putting the small amount I've got in a bottle and locking it somewhere it won't be opened again.

Dissolving is just too impossible so here's to rebirth.

Here's to throwing it all in a bonfire so I can breathe in all of it, rather than relive it.

Before you know it, I'll be slipping into my new skin and that's when you'll realize.

That's when you'll finally see.

You've lost me and I'll never be the same.

That's when you'll wake up from your dream.

Because I'm no longer a grove of trees, I'm a mountain.

In that moment you'll realize something important.

You'll see I don't need you anymore.